Death on the Promenade
Splat.
The noise resonated across the promenade.
Everyone turned and stared.
Shock. Horror. Sympathy?
The crowd came to a stop.
Everything was still, for a few seconds.
Then they moved on, turning away.
“don’t worry” says mother
“we’ll go and get another one”
They head to the ice cream van.
The onomatopoeia works really well because ot is ambiguous and the reader is led to a particular interpretation by the title. Is the title a little unfair in that regard? Could a dropped ice cream ever be regarded as a metaphorical death? Is there something that would cover death and dropped ice cream?
ReplyDeleteCheck punctuation of direct speech too!
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